Presenting - the REAL You!

You need to be able to show the "real you" to the online world. To do that, you must know yourself well…There should be no layers or hidden components. Wouldn’t you be upset if you read an online profile and met the individual who turned out to be very different from what their profile says? It happens all the time.

S0, if you are serious about dating and being successful you must desist from penning a fairy tale or living it. Fabricating incidents or stories is just not done. If you are really seeking to get close to a man then you will not be able to carry on living a lie however small forever.

Be honest with yourself—just as you are suspicious /wary of people so also men who are trying online dating. Contradictions are unnecessary and very negative. You will agree that “we are what we are” and cannot by using mere words turn into glamorous women or someone adventurous.

White lies and contradictions are guarantees of being dumped. Once a man realizes he cannot trust you he will steer clear. Not only that your reputation will spread like wildfire.

One thing that is crucial is that “we have to live with ourselves and be happy.” So, it is best to be with a man who accepts you for what you are and does not expect you to change. Never be afraid to say “I detest plays/or fancy clothes are not ME/ or I love balloon rides.”

Relationships only work when a man and woman live the life of two distinct individuals and yet share bonds, love, and common interests. There must be personal space and freedom in a relationship. Otherwise bitterness will creep in.

So, be yourself and seek a man who suits you best. He may not be drop dead handsome but may have a sense of humor, care about the little things in life, and appreciate you.

Sit down and ask yourself, “What am I seeking.” And, write down all that flows from your mind. Put the book away and after a day or two repeat the exercise -points that are common to both days are probably what are most important. Others will be the result of moods.

Take the time and make the effort of looking through profiles as well as experiences posted by other women. You will gain a fairly good idea of what works and what does not. I’m not suggesting that you copy someone else’s profile word for word, but you can get ideas of good phrases and the type of stuff they include.

Next, read through profiles posted by men and make a list of what appeals to you. Gain an understanding of what they’re looking for (apart from the obvious physical characteristics), and you will be able to include some aspects in your profile—be sure they pertain to who you are and not to an idea of you in your imagination. Don’t go over the top, though --if you say that you love sitting in front of the TV, watching all types of sport, whilst eating a ready meal with a few cans of beer, you’ll probably find a suitable man, but may not have a blissful life!

Avoid negativity or sounding doubtful---don’t start with “I’m surprised I’m doing this ….”, or “I’ve never done this before ….” You’re opening line is important, so don’t waste it on an excuse or an apology.

Be specific about your lifestyle and interests. Rather than listing hobbies give specific examples – I have trekked the Andes, or sailed through the keys, or put together a classic car in our garage with my brother. Specifics paint word pictures of the “true you.”

Don’t come across as a dreary, lonely woman. If your life is like that make an effort to change it by adopting some hobbies, going out with friends, traveling, and doing interesting things. Make a concerted effort to be a “new you.” Discover yourself—life is too short to be spent going to work and sitting at home.

Be positive, energetic, open minded, and a giver. Never be a doormat and allow people to push you around.

Make realistic goals. However don’t come across as pushy or seeking permanency like marriage. Allow a friendship/relationship to develop before thinking about marriage. Men are spooked at the thought of commitment and will turn tail and run like a trapped animal.

Do speak of past relationships but don’t let that be the most important aspect of your existence. Never compare the present to the past. Leave what is past behind, learn from it and move forward. Don’t make the mistake of comparing men—my ex husband loved steak, or my previous boyfriend was a great dancer is “ugly and sad.”

Let your story be a “happy one” be a woman who has savored life and is ready to share the joys.