Finding the Man of Your Dreams

Doesn't every woman want the man of her dreams.? The fact is, you have to be practical when choosing your mate. If you’re looking for an absolute stud, with a big bank account and a 4-garage door mansion – you have to be sensible.

Learn about the art of giving and caring. Romance is not the superficial aspects of dating - flowers, gifts, romantic evenings, and wooing. It is about showing you care, small endearing gestures, deep understanding of even a glance, and a synchronization of minds as well as soul.

To be practical one must set goals/parameters Answer these questions:

“What kind of man do I want?”

"How do I perceive my future—do children play a role?”

“What does a relationship mean to me personally? Is it caring, friendship, passion, being physical or mental compatibility?”

What do you seek in a man? Is it, humor, loyalty, fairness, respect, warmth, intelligence, kindness, integrity, honesty, tenderness, pride, chivalry?

• What should the ideal man look like?

• Should he smoke and drink.

• What are 5 things I abhor in men?

• What are 5 things I find pleasing and attractive?
  

• Do I want a single man or will I accept one who has been in past relationships—divorced/widowed?

• What kind of profession should he be in?

Create a profile as a ready reference. Use this to compare profiles you read online with. Narrow down the choices. Be sure you know how to distinguish between Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong.

According to experts in dating:

• A man who drinks heavily, is loud and mannerless is definitely Mr. Wrong.

• A good man would be well mannered and considerate and limit his drinking. He would not brag about bar hopping, drinking buddies, or bouts. He would never drink and drive a date home.

• A less than perfect man is one who is selfish, self obsessed, spends all his time talking about himself, his work, personal experiences, how he is a stud -- a total braggart.

• A man who is serious about dating and wishes to further the meet will try and find out as much as he can about you. He will share important aspects of his life with you, and try and give insights into his likes/dislikes, hopes as well as aspirations.

• The wrong kind will flirt with other women while he sits with you, let his attention wander, speak about how he finds ‘x’ lovely or ‘y’ a turn on. He will brag about his conquests every chance he gets. Self-obsessed he will never think beyond himself.

• An ideal man will not flirt unless he knows you well, he will never pass lewd remakes, or make passes, or advertise his conquests.

• The wrong kind is flashy and will flaunt their money as well as wealth/position. If he is handsome and has a good physique he will be obsessed by it –constantly glance in mirrors, comb his locks, and wink at passers by and so on.

• A man who is just perfect will be interested in more than a physical relationship—he will try and understand what makes you tick and find out whether the two of you have any common grounds.

Watch out for men who:

• Lie to you.
• Pressure you to meet them immediately.
• Are persistent about finding out personal information but do not reveal anything about themselves.
• Do not give accurate information about their age, martial status, having children, profession and so on.
• Who do not want to speak on the phone.
• Become a nuisance and pester you to speed things up.

Try and strike a balance. However, do allow for a little flexibility. A man may not match all your requirements but even if he matches say 60% then you must try and get to know him better.

Broaden your base—this will offer you greater choice. But do not compromise on things like “no smoking”-- a man who has smoked and been independent for years together is not likely to give up his habits because you say so.

It is not tall, dark, and handsome you must look for its kindness, caring, and intelligence. Very often, if physical attributes receive more attention then what you are likely to get is a man looking for a fling and not willing to offer any commitments.

If you are clear in your mind “what you want” then everything else becomes relatively easy. Please have a realistic opinion of yourself—if you are approaching thirty and fighting the flab, have a sprinkling of grey hair you are not going to land a man who is dashing, drives a Ferrari, and looks like a Hollywood dream. Try and match what you are to the man ---seek compatibility.